I can't believe what I just heard…OMG
September 30, 2017 at 1:14 am #73257
Not Yo MamaParticipant
I’ve been a PICC nurse for several years now and I travel around regionally, mostly nursing homes and the odd hospital here and there.
Tonight I went to a facility to do a PICC line on a patient who was in her late sixties and had had a major stroke where she was unable to move hardly at all. I needed help from another nurse just to move her into position to do the procedure. Ethically I’m already very uncomfortable doing this procedure and putting the patient through this much when you know the patient is dying.
This patient had multiple co-morbidities and was literally circling the drain. The only reason I was willing to do the procedure is because she is still relatively young. But I was still sickened by the fact that we do these medical procedures on patients who really should just be in palliative care, but instead, we are prolonging their agony.
Anyway, as I’m doing the procedure the patient’s husband shows up. He’s the rough type. His jeans are all dirty, he’s covered in tattoos and he reaks of cigarettes. He actually tells me that he wants the procedure done and he is refusing Hospice for her because he needs her alive for as long as possible because he needs her check from the government each month. I nearly fell through the floor.
I had a very difficult time shutting my mouth. This man has been married to her for 40 years and didn’t seem upset at all. Just worried about the check he won’t get if she dies. Now I thought I’d heard everything, but this is completely awful.
What do you do or say to a person who says something like that? I feel like reporting him to someone. This is so cruel, to keep this woman alive for his financial benefit. Makes me sick!
September 30, 2017 at 1:29 am #73258
Oh wow, that’s so sad. I feel bad for that poor lady, having a jerk for a husband like that. Just because patients who have had strokes can’t talk sometimes, they can hear and I hope she didn’t hear him say that, that’s so hurtful. How on earth could you stay married to such a heartless person for so many years.
September 30, 2017 at 1:36 am #73259
Gosh, that’s wrong on so many levels. I feel bad for you because you were put in that position. Unfortunately there often isn’t a good remedy for such ethical issues like this. If you told anyone about it, like the government, for instance, they wouldn’t care. They have to pay her and as long as she is alive then she collects her check, (or he does). But I agree, this is a very difficult situation and nurses are thrown into these types of things all the time. There is no right or wrong answer.
You just have to try to do the best thing for the patient. I’m guessing that you were already doing the procedure when he said that. If that had of been me I thinkk I would have done what you did. If that helps
September 30, 2017 at 1:42 am #73260
I find it interesting that you said he was “rough” because he has tattoos. It’s not your job to judge people like that. He may have been dirty because he just got done working a tough dirty job and rushed to be with his wife straight from work because that’s all the time he had.
As well as that you don’t know the dynamics of their relationship of their finances. Obviously, if she is on government benefits they’re probably having a hard time making ends meet and he’s just trying to be practical. No never know what other people’s situations are, so you shouldn’t be so judgemental.
September 30, 2017 at 1:50 am #73261
This thread has nothing to do with tattoos. She was just trying to let us know what the situation was and giving us a description of what the man looked like. If she thought he looked rough then that’s her right to say that. People do judge, they judge all the time for all kinds of reasons and there’s nothing wrong with that.
I don’t think she is shocked that the man needs her check I think she is saying that she is shocked because he had no compassion for her after being married for so many years and not seeming to care about her well-being and what’s best for her.
Evidently, this patient needs to be in hospice and should have palliative care only. There is nothing wrong with being shocked about this. I think it’s terrible that someone would prolong someone’s agony over money…period!
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