What is this? Cafeteria Food…Just Ew!

Cafeteria food

Most nurses have tried their hospital cafeteria food at least once, even if it was for the sake of advising patient’s families what they should (and should not) try.  Now I will say the cafeteria food has certainly come a long way, but gawd, it has a long way to go, (well at least at our hospital).

Here are a few requests and suggestions that I would like just to throw out there in the remote chance that head cafeteria lady can hear me. Dear God let her hear me!

I know this may be a lot to ask, but I once heard that presentation is everything when it comes to food.  I would like to be able to identify the food I’m looking at before I decide to pay $100.00 for it.  Is it potatoes? is it mashed up fish? or maybe it’s pig slop??
Coffee guys! Nurses like COFFEE. No, not the stuff that I find in the carafe down there. It’s not coffee. If it is, it’s strong enough to get up and walk all by itself, C’mon now, be real, people have to drink this stuff.  You can put all the fakey French lingo you want on the cups, but if it smells like burnt cat poop, I ain’t drinking it.
What are these “eggs?” No scrambled eggs I’ve ever seen look like that.  This looks like something I just cleaned out of an emesis basin upstairs.  Is there something you’re not telling me?  Your Momma would be ashamed of you!  Get it together. Also, eggs are YELLOW, not white. Ew, just ew.
No way, no how, should any orange cost $3.50. That’s plain nonsense. Make it stop!
Mashed potatoes? Where? All I see is some wallpaper paste, or maybe it’s oatmeal? Hmmm, hard to tell.
I like Pepsi, not carbonated water…just saying! Especially when I’m paying six bucks for it.


What is this breaded crap you’re calling fish?  It’s breaded, fried, greasy, dough? Yum
Okay, now this one really bugs the crap out of me.  Do you not think people who work nights eat? The hospital has to be staffed at night, just like it does during the day.  Why do us night nurses get left out all the time?

Since I’m off my diet tonight and I’m hungry enough to eat a small village, I think I’ll stick with the triple bypass burger. It’s the healthiest thing on the menu.


What’s your cafeteria food like? Comment below

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